Relationships, like cocks, condoms and musical instruments, come in all varieties. Some people have relationships with one person. Some have relationships with a few other people but only share feelings and sex with one partner, while others like to be more liberal about sex and relationships. For many people, condom usage is a regular part of the relationship’s equation, so they just carry on using them. Condoms are also a great way for HIV positives and HIV negatives to have sex and relationships with each other.
If two or more people decide they want to have sex without a condom, we recommend you both/all use a condom for three months, then go and get tested at the same time to make sure that all of you have the same HIV status and that you don’t have an STI. Note: this suggestion is valid only supposing that none of you are having unprotected sex with anyone else during this window of time. And no unprotected sex outside the relationship.
Sometimes, a relationship or agreement doesn’t quite work out as planned. Having sex with another person outside of your regular partner(s) or breaking the rules you’ve agreed upon can mean putting your partner(s)at risk of getting an STI. It is therefore very important to agree on which rules apply both within and outside of the relationship. If you make an agreement, consider discussing from the start what to do if one of you breaks that agreement. Having the courage and openness to talk about possible extracurricular relationships is one way of showing consideration.